Reasons I need an adult.

I was reading on a forum about characters that were short-lived in RPGs. Someone posted this concept:

"I once got a DM to agree to let me make a Hill Giant character at level 1 on the condition that I wouldn't use his brute strength to my advantage. So I played a pacifist bard that carried around a piano, and would sit down in combat and play it for his allies. 
Unfortunately we never played past 1 session. I miss you, Hilly Joel."

So, I had to do this. To the tune of Piano Man, obviously.

"It's after dark on a Saturday, and the tavern begins to fill up.
There's an old man sitting next to me, drinking ale from a dragon-horn cup.
He says, 'Son, I once was an adventurer, 'till an orc arrow shattered my knee,
I was young, I was brave, every maid, I would save, there was no fighter better than me.


"Now, the Dwarf at the bar's a Barbarian, and has never yet paid for a drink.
And he's quick with his rage, so folk never engage, 'cause he'd kill you before you can blink.
But he says, "Hilly, I'd rather be killing ye," as he swings ‘round his mug like a mace,
"But yer music is grand, and I'm too drunk to stand, so I won't put my axe through your face."


"And, Paul is the page to a Paladin, who hates both his Lord and his job,
for he's young and he's bored, with a pen, not a sword, shining boots for that arrogant slob.
And the magus is practising Alchemy, while adventurers start their career...
A dark stranger, they meet, then they all take a seat, with no thought to what they're doing here."

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